Ok, guys, I am the one who was there the whole time while his wife Jessica was diagnosed as final stage cancer until she passed away. Jessica is a truly nice person. That was a tough time for the family. Jessica’s parents trust me so much. I am glad that I was able to at least provide some comfort to them. The faculty members took turns to take care of the kid while Dave and Jessica’s parents could focus on coping with the situation. The faculty members and some doctoral students even set up an education trust fund for their kid, who was a 3-year old back then. I have been visiting Dave and their son periodically all these years. I would not say that I understand everything about Dave. But I try to be understanding. We are all human beings and we are complicated. But I am sure, he is not a bad guy and he is a loving father. I won’t release too much information about Dave and this family unless it is necessary and only for the purpose of clarification.
Dave has been very protective of his kid. In the past, he rejected people for very subtle reasons that we would not even have a clue. From what was described earlier, it looks to me that he might find some kind of misfit, then he tried to justify with his seemingly “clumsy” excuses. He did this because he did not want to hurt anyone’s feelings. As far as I know, they had a middle-aged, divorced female tutor before. Dave described her as “had instantly click with their so even though her English was not very good” and “she would lie on the ground and let their son lied down in her arms”. One time, I visited Dave with another guy friend. The whole time while we were in their house, Dave did not allow that guy to get close to his son. Was it rude? Yes, it was if you don’t understand how protective (or even overprotective) Dave became after his son lost his mom. We may not understand, we may not agree, but we will have to admit, we may be different.
Another reason why he is looking for a Chinese tutor is that his son is getting custody in China. In that case, he wants to “force” his son to learn Chinese.
I am in the same cohort as Tao(I bet the faculty members will love to see your argument on uncertainty avoidance😊). Our parents taught us girls not to stay with a man alone in a private place unless you are in a relationship, for self-protection’s sake. I usually bring a friend with me when visiting Dave. I believe Dave will understand it and be open-minded to work out some flexible plan if he finds a good fit (i.g., meet in public place).
I understand both perspectives. No one was doing anything wrong. All we got were pieces of information here and there. I hope my explanation will put a stop to the arguments.
Best,
Angie
Sent from Mail for Windows 10
From: Leonard Ling
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