Content-Type: text/html This paper was presented at the Association for Education in Journalism and Mass Communication in Toronto, Canada, August 2004. If you have questions about this paper, please contact the author directly. If you have questions about the archives, email [log in to unmask] For an explanation of the subject line, send email to [log in to unmask] with just the four words, "get help info aejmc," in the body (drop the ""). (Oct 2004) Thank you. Elliott Parker ************************************************************************ Globalized Eroticism, Negotiated Identity An ethnographic study of Chinese gay men's erotic pleasures and identity formation in cyber-communities Abstract The research analyzed the posting section of the most popular gay-themed web-site in Taiwan to understand how Chinese gay men negotiate their identities and derive erotic pleasure through sharing posted audio, graphical, and textual messages. The research suggests that gay Chinese men in the cyber-community form sexual identities through employing various strategies, such as through role-playing. The rhetoric skills employed includes gender-crossing, teasing, prostituting and reciprocating. Globalized eroticism, negotiated identity An ethnographic study of Chinese gay men's erotic pleasures and identity formation in cyber-communities Paper submitted to Gay, Lesbian, Transgender Interest group in The Association for Education in Journalism and Mass Communication Convention, Aug. 4-7, 2004, Toronto, Canada. Hong-Chi Shiau Assistant Professor Department of Communication Central Connecticut State University 1615 Stanley St. New Britain, CT 06050 Globalized Eroticism, Negotiated Identity An ethnographic study of Chinese gay men's erotic pleasures and identity formation in cyber-communities Abstract The research analyzed the posting section of the most popular gay-themed web-site in Taiwan to understand how Chinese gay men negotiate their identities and derive erotic pleasure through sharing posted audio, graphical, and textual messages. By applying a snowballing sample scheme, 43 self-identified gay informants, all also participants of the online community, were asked to discuss with the researcher their life stories regarding their consumption of erotic texts featuring, among other things, nude white males in relation to formation of their sexual identities. How and why do gay Chinese men derive erotic pleasure through viewing erotic texts featuring white males, when such a stimulus is virtually non-existent in their off-line lives? The research suggests that gay Chinese men in the cyber-community form sexual identities through employing various strategies, such as through role-playing. The rhetoric skills employed includes gender-crossing, teasing, prostituting and reciprocating. The unfolded life stories narrated by the informants suggest that the sexual desirability of white males is more prevalent among older (aged 30 to 46) informants. Young gay Chinese, growing up during the Internet age, tend to appreciate localized texts. Key words: Identity Formation, Gay, Cyber Community (Internet), Gender-Crossing, Eroticism, Post-colonialism Gay audience reception studies Since gay men are not born into their own minority, mediated messages are crucial for them to be socialized into the gay world and become initiated members of this co-culture (Dank, 1979; Hooker, 1965; Kama, 2003). However, gay representations in the public sphere have been symbolically annihilated (Gerbner & Gross, 1976; Gross, 1998) as a result of three main chronological processes including quantitative absence, infiltration of negative images based on prejudice and folkloristic stereotypes, and the integration of actors whose minority identities are irrelevant (Dines & Humez, 1995; Greenberg, 1980). In the American context, the portrayal of gay people in the media has increased tremendously since the late 1990s. In 2000, there were 22 shows that portrayed gay or lesbian characters in leading, supporting or recurring roles (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, 2000). Will & Grace, for example, has been acclaimed by the popular press for its positive representation of gay men, and the show has won numerous awards and been commercially successful. And yet Battles & Hilton-Morrow would apply feminist and queer theory to argue that Will & Grace in fact applies familiar situation comedy conventions and can still be read as reinforcing heterosexism (2002). In contrast to the situation in the U.S., presentations of indigenous Chinese gay people – Chinese gays living in China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Singapore – on Chinese media were scarce. The majority of gay-themed text (literature, film, documentary) in Chinese is produced in Taiwan (Chi, 2002). Although several gay-themed Taiwanese works have received critical acclaim, and have been translated into other languages and/or adopted into film, it was not until 2003 that Taiwanese prime-time TV shows first introduced the 70s Taipei gay culture to mainstream audiences[1]. The locally acclaimed gay-themed works differ from their American counterparts insofar as they target a highbrow and well-educated audience (Chi, 2002; Chou, 2000). Despite the presence of a few gay-themed works, only a small number of Taiwanese pieces have been commercially successful and moderately received locally.[2] Although the Chinese audience interested in gay-themed works had limited local media choices for their viewing pleasure, the gay audience in Taiwan was able to consume heavily foreign (chiefly American) imported gay-themed media, thanks to the rise of the Internet and the trend of media globalization. In light of the impact of mediated messages upon gay people as well as society more broadly, a myriad of research has applied textual and/or content analysis to examine the influence of media representations (e.g. Kielwasser & Wolf, 1992; Gross, 1994, 1998, 2001; Battles& Hilton-Morrow, 2002). While scholars and activists emphasize the need to keep track of gay representations, few researchers have adopted an audience reception approach to examine how media representations of gay culture have impacted the formation of identity among gays. Generally speaking, audience-side researchers adopt either a uses and gratifications approach to categorize gay demands (e.g. Yang, 2000) or pay attention to the attitudes of gay audiences toward commercial advertisements (in which gay audiences are considered to be an emerging demographic group of consumers with high dispensable income (e.g. Bhat, et. al, 1998)). Kama (2003) was one of several pioneering studies of gay audience reception as relates to identity formation. By interviewing 45 Israeli gay men, he delved into the patterns of gay men's media reception and concluded that his informants intentionally consumed texts that focused on gay issues and disengaged themselves from discourse that symbolically annihilated them or their identities. His research employs a cultural studies approach, recognizing the active roles of gay media consumers in interpreting media texts in order to "produce the meanings that connect with their social experience" (Fisk, 1987, p84). In a similar context to analyze media consumers, Hall (1982) argues that TV viewers would produce negotiated readings of the text; these are meanings preferred by dominant ideology, to take into account the social differences of different viewers. The lack of focus on gays in the indigenous media in Taiwan, however, has complicated the reception of gay audiences in Taiwanese cyberspace. As a result of the increased prevalence of American and, recently, Japanese and Korean imported pornographic texts, eroticism in Taiwanese cyberspace has been highly globalized. While consuming gay-themed media can help gay people overcome feelings of social negation and enhance a sense of social belonging, which is essential to the formation of identity, how can gay Taiwanese derive their erotic pleasures for their cultural/sexual existence when such a stimulus is virtually non-existent in their off-line lives? Presumably, under such ambivalent circumstances, sexual identity is reconfirmed or reinforced but racial identity, as Chinese, is symbolically annihilated. Based on the theory of cultural proximity that audiences will realize pleasure in recognizing their own culture in their programming choices (Straubhaar, 1992, p 14-15), would Taiwanese audiences derive more pleasure from viewing local texts? White, buff and hot in Taiwan…but don't say it's real Compared to such other industrialized or newly industrialized regions in Asia, such as Japan, Hong Kong, Singapore, in Taiwan there were, historically, few opportunities for Taiwanese people to have direct contact with Caucasians. Unlike Hong Kong, where Caucasians once constituted approximately two percent of the population (Chou, 2000), Taiwan's population has been almost entirely non-Caucasian. During the era of Japanese colonization, very few white people lived in Taiwan (those who were there were mostly missionaries). As the animosity between Japan and the United States reached its peak after Pearl Harbor, Taiwan became even more of an ethnic "non-Caucasian" island. It was not until the Vietnam War era, when Taiwan became a U.S. ally and a major American military base, that urban Taiwanese began to gain a greater exposure to white men – mostly to male soldiers in their twenties. Based on current demographic data, it is clear that white people remain a tiny minority all but invisible to most Taiwanese, although more and more companies and schools are hiring whites as they seek to increase their English-speaking employees[3]. Although Taiwan was a colony of Spain and the Netherlands during the 17th century, it has not been colonized by any western countries since then. After the Chinese Civil War, Taiwan's right-wing regime established a close alliance with the United States, which provided Taiwan with financial assistance (from 1951 through 1965) and military "protection (through today)." Over the decades, according to Chou, the American presence has resulted in a strong sense of cultural admiration with English considered a superior language and white a superior color. The former can be epitomized by the fact that among the top ten most widely read ranking magazines the Chinese version of Reader's Digest is rated highest, followed by three magazines devoted for the study of English language (Ishii, 1995). To most Taiwanese people, the United States symbolizes progress and freedom (2000, p145). Westernization has become a way by which gay Taiwanese can emancipate themselves from the bondage of traditional Chinese family and the control of the state apparatus. Indeed, since the 1970s gay Taiwanese have been especially active group in importing western culture, with their activity ranging from listening to western pop music, to viewing movies, to identifying specific western icons and more recently, to reading erotic content on the Internet. Post-colonial discourses, which questions how knowledge of subordinated people is produced, and how such knowledge is used to support the existing power order, is another useful theorietical context to frame the phenomeonon discussed (Wikipedia encyclpedia, 2004). For instance, Said (1979), a scholar of post-colonialism, argued that European texts (e.g. literary, artistic, and non-fictional) represented the Orient (its people and culture) as "other"; consequently, the Whites internalized knowledge that perpetuated the notion of superiority of Whites over non-White peoples and cultures. It has been suggested that to understand post-colonialism, one should analyze the texts that reinforce and strengthen the existing power order (Said, 1979). The discourse and visual imagery of Orientalism is laced with notions of power and superiority, formulated initially to facilitate a colonizing mission on the part of the West and perpetuated through a wide variety of discourses and policies. However, in a global age, erotic pleasures are highly fluid and intertextual. We may ask: have Taiwanese gay men cultivated "false racial conciousness" and internalized the "power order?" Cyber "gay scene" in Taiwan "Taiwan's gay movement is also a movement of media" (Chou, 2000, p159). Scholars analyzing Taiwan's gay movements claim that the rapid growth and emergence of Taiwanese gay/lesbian/queer community in the 1990s can be attributed to computer-mediated communication (Berry & Martin, 2003; Yang, 2000; Chou, 2000). The rise of the Internet during the 1990s has helped form a virtual community where gay/lesbian/queer people increase their visibility in an anonymous fashion. The earliest form of interactive Internet communication in Taiwan was the Chinese-text-based Internet Relay Chat (IRC). The most popular IRC site for gays in Taiwan was MOTSS (Members Of The Same Sex). MOTSS was set up in April 1994 at National Chiao-Tung University and was a strata group on the TANET (Taiwan Network) operated by Taiwan's Ministry of Education to link research and education institutes throughout the country (Yang & Cheng, 1998). Meanwhile, another IRC site devoted to same-sex discussions was set up by Sting (Study Team of Identity and Gender) at National Central University. In the early days of the Internet, members of MOTSS and similar sites were allowed to "chat" in a group, or "talk" one-to-one, or "post" text-based articles in a forum. In part due to the low-cost and government-owned nature of TANET, hosts were able to operate their discussion groups free from the intrusion of business-oriented content. It was under such conditions that the MOTSS system attracted such idealistic, alternative, and minority-oriented discourse and sustained public dialogues in civic and social matters that epitomized the "emancipatory potential of mass media" proposed by Habermas (1962). Local web pages were scarce until 1997 and were not as popular as MOTSS due to their relatively non-interactive nature. However, the text-based format applied by MOTSS and similar sites gradually lost its attraction when a regular website was able to adopt a new platform that enabled a higher degree of interactivity. The number of sites targeting gay people increased drastically after 1997. The advanced infrastructure of information technology in Taiwan[4] helped facilitate a rapid transition from the text-based IRC to web-based gay virtual communities where users are allowed to post audio/visual/textual messages and communicate in a more simultaneous manner. Based on an analysis of the key word searches on the Yahoo-Taiwan portal site, gay websites in Taiwan can be classified into three categories. The largest consists of web pages, created by individuals to interact with people in their circle. The second type was created by such non-profit organizations as high school- or college- affiliated clubs or social activists. The third type consists of gay portals that offer a variety of gay-themed information and have attracted Chinese readers globally. These gay portals do not charge membership fee for visitors and chiefly are sponsored by advertisers. In order to increase traffic flow, these portals are actively involved with community building, and personal ads placement, audio/graphic/textual file sharing, and discussion board are integral parts of the sites. Additionally, some gay portals host chatting rooms, which can be sorted by location and type. Advertising pressure has consolidated Taiwan gay portals during the past few years. As of March 2004, Topfong is the most popular[5]. Topfong functions akin to gay.com in the English-speaking world; however, it is localized to serve the unique demands of the Taiwanese gay community. It features gay news, entertainment, discussion boards, gay personal ads, chat rooms, audio/graphic/textual file postings, auctions, gay literature, job posting, and legal consulting assistance. In terms of personal ads, Topfong has unique descriptive categories targeting the local gay men in Taiwan. Instead of using location, the method for searching used by virtually all other sites, Topfong classifies users into seven categories: (1) general personal without photo, (2) personal ads with photo, (3) for future telephone partner, (4) bear (short, chubby and hairy) in search of monkey (skinny and tall) with photo (5) bear in search of monkeys without photo (6) alternative – chiefly seeking for sex partner. Research methodology This research applies an ethnographic approach to examine how readings of audio/graphic/textual texts featuring white males affect formation of identity among gay men. Topfong, the leading Taiwanese website targeting gay Chinese, is the subject for analysis. More specifically, the research focuses on the posting section because it is a place where Chinese people (mostly living in Taiwan) are allowed to view and post audio/graphic/textual content and respond to one another freely. Access is free (i.e. neither registration nor payment is required), although the site attempts to disallow people under the age of 18 from accessing it, such users can fake their age so as to access the posting section. The research includes two parts: (1) the analysis of posted texts that involves white males, and (2) interviews with 43 informants sampled from the posters and their friends whom I was able to reach and whom were willing to talk with me. In the three-month research period beginning December 11, 2003 and ending March 10, 2004, I reviewed 1,625 postings, 58 percent of which featured white males; 3 percent of content featured black; 23 percent featured Japanese males (nationality distinguished by language), 16 percent featured non-Japanese Asian (chiefly Chinese and Southeast Asian)[6]. The prevalence of white males featured among the postings manifests itself in the way in which other posters create titles for their postings titles – races or nationalities are usually integral parts of titles for content relating to "non-Whites." When the poster leaves the ethnicity unmentioned, members presume such the posting is a white male. Pictures of white males are often titled "hot guy," while pictures of Thai males, for instance, are generally titled "hot Thai guy." Such ethnically ambiguous titles as "fatherly good looking guy," "leather man," "boy-next-door," all refer to white males. Ironically, very few Taiwanese have such a white boy-next-door living in their vicinity, but members sense it in the imaginary community. In the first part, textual analysis was used to examine which texts members to serve the best interests of the community. The placement of audio/visual/textual texts in cyberspace is a complicated process contigent on the tastes of posters, perceptions of legal liability, and compability of new technologies. Despite different methods by which posters publish texts, the common purpose of the forum is to serve the erotic pleasures of the community. Thus, the first inquiry of this research was to determine what kinds of white male bodies are preferred by the community, and why? It is imperative not only to analyze of "hits' to a particular posting frequency but also to examine how participants respond to the posting since the posting of a text is a function of such a variety of factors as ease of availability, perception of liability and financial cost. The response to a posting constitutes the process of meaning negotiation and production, in which positive feedback reinforces certain types of postings, while negative feedback or absence of feedback discourages other types of the postings. The second inquiry of this research is: how does exposure to white males affect the formation of sexual identity among members of the community? Since the analysis of the posting section on Topfong's posting board is confined, this study interviewed 43 self-identified Taiwanese gay men by various methods depending on the informants' availability. Due to time limitations, only 12 were interviewed in person. The remaining interviews were conducted by telephone and via email, instant messaging, or ICQ. Among the 43 informants, seven were expatriates in the United States. Excluding the seven, 16 informants have visited Western countries. Nine have had sexual experiences with white people, and four have white boyfriends (two American, one German, one Ukrainian). 18 of my informants have allegedly more than 100 but less than 500 sex partners; six had allegedly more than 500; one jokingly indicated that he is a virgin. The globalized eroticism One-third of posters do not post anything in the forum, strictly speaking, in part due to concerns regarding copyright infringement. Nevertheless, they provide hyperlinks leading viewers to their intended destinations, which the researcher was able to discern, were usually American-based websites. Among posted texts, direct or indirect, 74 percent of posted texts were sexually explicit, featuring nude male bodies. Pornographic materials, defined as any form of sexual intercourse displaying sexual organs constitute 55 percent of the sexually explicit material. Approximately 30 percent of the pornographic texts simply connect to free-trial video clips offered by western pornographic sites, mostly United States-based. Among the non-sexually explicit texts, the most popular portray male celebrities and fashion models. Several notable examples of the former include Orlando Bloom (Lord of the Rings trilogy), Alain Delon (the Italian actor in Rocco and his Brothers), Justin Timberlake, Jude Law (Cold Mountain), British Prime Minister Tony Blair, or American President George W. Bush. The response to male actors can be exemplified by two types: first, articulated appreciation to confirm the "hard work" of the poster, such as "thanks, that's great"; second, inquiries to advance the members' factual knowledge of the subject. In both cases, responses usually lack emotional involvement and are merely used to facilitate conversation among members. Members articulate few sexual fantacies toward the celebrities. For instance, members might post an inquiry regarding the name of Justin Timberlake's old band. Other postings focus on such varied content as President Bush, for instance: Posting A (All participants' names are masked) Title: Time is never forgiving man. The President Bush's picture posted in which he is in his 20s; (Audio: A Taiwanese song from the 60s) Poster's comment: You see…time is so unforgiving; he looks dirty old now. Chelsea boy (Response 1): No, you're exaggerating. He does NOT look old; he simply looks "unsound." Waterloo (Response 2): Bin Laden looks sexier. Chelsea boy (Response 3): Laugh out loud…no, no…White people age quickly...they only look good in their 20s. Unlike celebrity postings, which rarely attract more than 5 responses, fashion model posting frequently provoke heated discussion. The models appear in advertisements for such famous Western brands as Boss Hugo (German, 5 postings listed; each has more than 10 responses), Abercrombie & Fitch (American brand, 4 postings), Calvin Klein (American brand, 4 postings), and Gap (American, 1 posting) among others. Discussions are generally informational in nature and nevertheless led by "opinion leaders" well informed of western consumer culture; nevertheless, respondents express more sexual fantasies toward these nude bodies compared to aforementioned celebrities. Posting B Title: Boss in motion perfume commercial Poster's introduction: I posted two Hugo Boss commercials featuring Julin Headquist last year; this one entitled "Boss in motion" is something new for you. Video Commercial clip plays. Shawn (Response 1): It is said that the perfume sells. The shape of the bottle is very cool, but I don't know how it smells. Kevin (Response 2): I usually leave the perfume by my bed. When my alarm clock rings, I wrongly press the perfume instead of my alarm. John (Response 3): This perfume is great, but it is a bit too expensive. It smells like orange. Frank (Response 4): His poster now occupies a huge spot in the department store close to where I work. He greets me in the morning and says goodbye to me after work. Whenever I am sad, I walk out to smoke in front of him. His eyes look strangely peaceful to me. John (Response 5): Yehhh…wait until you can speak German well enough to communicate with him_. Responses drift from one topic to another, sometimes directed toward the advertised products; other times directed toward the model. The dialogues follow several themes simultaneously, posting can attract as many as 90 responses. Posting D: Julin Headquist The posting, organized chronologically, includes 40 pictures of Julin Headquist. Several sentences were inserted between pictures so the members could better understand the historical context of the pictures. …. Scorpio: Supermodel is always a supermodel. He enhances the texture and cutting style of clothes. Terry: He is amazingly changeable. Did you see him on the Gap poster? Sometimes he looks evil; sometimes he looks like an angel. SOS: Was the guy on the Gap Julin? Which one? Tangerine (also the poster): That is what makes a supermodel. Supermodel is supposed to be blank and neutral. Yellow (Asian), brown or black are inherently NOT as suitable. It is better white and tall because only white color gets along with all colors and tall people make the clothes sublimely respectable. Mike: WOW..Tangerine. You are so knowledgeable; I admire you. Your introduction has expanded my horizon and enhanced my ability to appreciate fashion. Could you discuss another supermodel to whom I am drawn: Christian Monzon? SOS: Stop talking about all this. If you don't, I will be tempted to buy a truck of clothes…Last time you introduced an Armani guy. Shortly after, I went bankrupt. Now I am still in debt. I have gone over credit card limit in the past months, and my father takes charge of my credit card. So now I can rely only on my mom's. Tangerine: You, silly material girl, are simply making a fuss. Having the clothing doesn't make you a Julin Headquest. It's his "temperature," looking cruel and mean, wild but warm at heart, that makes the difference. SOS: Don't be mean to me... Whatever people feel about me is irrelevant; it's good simply to feel "looking good." Terry: Come on, my Fashion-Aunt[7] Tangerine ... Don't push too hard on SOS. She has grown up to be an empowered, independent, and respectable OL[8]_. By the way, how do you know Julin is warm at heart? Have you slept with him; or what? I think he looks more like a juvenile delinquent…constantly thinking of screwing. Does he screw guys? In above posting, the opinion leader, "Tangerine," who introduces the Hugo Boss model as well as the concept of what constitutes a supermodel. His arguments are frequently contradictory, but participants make sense out of the changing modes during the transitions. For instance, SOS initially presents himself as a fashion information seeker but later teases himself by recounting his compulsive buying history. True or not, the respondents nevertheless seem amused. SOS takes the first step to feminize and infantize himself in a self-effacing manner, and so the respondents are invited to masquerade themselves as they wish, as Tangerine, the fashion expert, becomes Fashion Aunt and SOS is a "silly material girl." Terry[9], a sarcastic and presumably male third party, joins the masquerade, arguing that the silly material girl should not be blamed because she is now a mature and self-determined "OL." Tangerine's comment on being white makes a better, while potentially offensive to the posters, is not directly challenged. Most readers implicitly align themselves comfortably with the dominant reading purported by western advertisers: "the model to which all men should aspire is young, white…with a well-muscled, smooth body, handsome face…and a high income (Fejes, 2000, p115)." Regrettably, Taiwanese gay men are not born into the segment; but in one sense, one can still "enhance" or "correct" his sexual desirability through consuming the peripheral products or lifestyles suggested by the supermodel. Some participants bring up negotiated readings: for instance, Terry confronts Tangerine's purported association of external qualities with being "warm at heart." Although he does not challenge Tangerine's statement per se, the sexual unavailability has made him less desirable. Consider a case of a second super model, Travis Fimmel, the Calvin Klein-model-turned-actor[10] who also erocticizes the cyber community. The advertisements portrayed him nude or in a brief and were controversial in the United States. Fimmel becomes an icon and is frequently posted on the site. The responses are usually concise, often directly linked to sexual fantasies (or even sexual activities). Below are several responses drawn from various postings. Posting D Corey: "WOW, he is so hot…like an animal" Posting E Kiwi: Looking at him, I have jerked off twice. (Blushed face symbol). Jason, you should not set me up like this, you know I have exam tomorrow. Jason: So instead of hanging out in the football stadium[11], you can go to bed early. Another masquerade scheme that the respondents frequently employ is the triangular relationship among pimp and prostitute and client. The posted white male is usually considered to be the prostitute introduced by the pimp (the poster, e.g. Jason) and visually consumed by the clients (supposedly members of the community, e.g. Kiwi). Posters frequently masquerade as "Madame," at times apologizing to members for being unable to match their clients with the right type of prostitute. Posting F Corey: No hardcore picture? Jason: He is a model, not a whore...if he does that, he must be very expensive. Can you afford him? Corey: So do you have anyone like him? Jason: Let me see…be patient. My reputation as the most generous Madame isn't gained over night. It is worth mentioning that the way in which members respond to postings is in part a function of the reputation of the posters. Popular posters attract more responses since they have been recognized by more members. For instance, a poster that identities himself as having a "foot fetish" frequently receives foot-themed pictures forwarded by other members. In terms of sexually explicit pictures, most are hard-core gay pornography. Several preferred themes, if discernable, include athletes as jockeys or baseball players, college students living in dorms, or military officers in uniforms on duty. It may well be that pictures involving intercourse between Whites and Asians (Chinese looking people) are considered desirable and widely imported on the site because such a genre presents a form of sexual activity that they may engage in, and therefore can relate better to. However, further investigation suggests that such interracial sexually explicit postings do not reflect such thinking. Notably, many genres proliferate are racially and sexually "incorrect" to gay Taiwanese. For instance, heterosexual intercourse and self-identified "straight males" are two major themes that stray from the literally alleged "common interest" of the community but are nevertheless enjoyed by members. Generally speaking, members' responses to pornography can be classified into one of two types: first, information inquiry; second, reaction to the male body. As mentioned previously, information inquiry, such as of where to buy and the identity of the actor, for instance, is a common response to most postings. The second and third types will be discussed below. The phallus the most commonly discussed part of the male body. Size, authenticity, shape, and whether or not foreskinned, are regular topic of conversation. The first two issues, size and authenticity, are linked. Reaction is usually concise. Posting G John: It's soooo big. Posting H Uncle Kiwi: WOW…this is so huge. It's unfair. How comes White people are all so well-equipped? Madonna: God is fair…baby…because they are often impotent. Notably, numerous respondents comment on the size of phalli, perceived as essential to masculinity, but few express their sexual arousal directly. The responses usually provide a fictitious but localized introduction to the text that helps to erotizes members, frequently facilitated by the posters (pimps), as aforementioned. Posting J Jay (poster): This is his first time. He is closeted and shy. Treat him gently. Luke: He has potential…I can coach him. Along with erect phalli, faces and facial expressions, arms and feet, muscular torsos and anus generate sexual pleasure for the community. Given that responses to hardcore pornographic texts are mostly short, the researcher interviewed 43 self-identified gay participants of the community in order to better examine how participants' sexual identities were formed in relation to viewing texts featuring White male bodies. The narrative of media experiences and identity formation The informants in this study are aged from 16 to 46. The informants under 18 should be barred from joining the posting site, but many of them nevertheless are users. One of my 16-year-old informants, who identifies himself as a heavy user, told me that most of his gay friends view the site on a regular basis. In order to reflect this reality, this research includes three informants under the age of 18. 24 informants are aged from 18 to 30; eleven, from 30 to 40; five are more than 40 years old. For the informants growing up during the 80s, a segment that constitutes 60 percent of my informants, most recalled that their first encounter with hardcore pornography featuring White male was in junior or senior high school (aged 12 to 17). A small percentage of informants had not seen any sexually explicit content until they started using the Internet in the late 90s. Many informants first watched pirated American hardcore pornography rented from "mom-and-pop" video rental shops in Taiwan. Although none identified themselves as a big fan of the pornography, they continued to watch it until the dawn of the Internet age. I grew up watching porn rented by my older brother or father. Sometimes the Fourth Station (the Taiwanese CATV before its legalization) carried it. Usually American pornography features better looking male characters and also take several shots of the facial expression and muscles of guys. (Tony, 28) Actually, there was tons of Japanese porn back in the 1980s, but I disliked it. The male protagonist was usually masked and strangely out of shape. (King, 26) I think people my age first watched porn on the Internet. I don't know why people still buy it if they can look it up online. You have to find a place to store your porn. I live with my parent and I can't even imagine how embarrassing it would be if my mom were to find it in my closet. Having gay porn in your room is de facto claiming that you're gay. It's similar to writing "I-a-m-g-a-a-a-y" on my face. (Branden, 20) The informants' media experience does confirm that it is the Internet that "liberates" gay people and makes pornographic texts widely available. Informants growing up in the 70s or 80s indicated that they were mostly "enlightened" only after the rise of the Internet – seeing men having sex with men and understanding that homosexuality is a possible way of life. Is viewing gay pornography important for my informants? The short answer is yes, but they relate the importance of gay pornography differently. I don't know if this is true for the majority of gay people; I myself consider watching porno to be integral part of being gay. You see, you go to Yahoo or Google and type gay as a keyword, most of results are porno. Gay and porno are simply like twin brothers. (Uncle Kiwi, 37) For me, how could one practice "gay life" without watching and learning from porno? It is almost impossible to channel our fantasy into practice in real life. How many gay people have sex with a well-built plumber accidentally coming to your house to fix your faucet? (Danny, 22) Gay or straight, men watch porno. Men can be easily turned on by visual things. (Jon, 38) With porno, I come to a realization that I am not a "weirdo" who possesses bizarre fantasies; in fact, I am so boringly ordinary. (Dave, 29) When asked "when was your first gaze upon a nude white male? How did you relate the gaze to your sexual identity?" The answers from informants more than 30 of age varied: Growing up, I have seen numerous posters featuring nice looking white guys in the glasses store owned by my parents. I was particularly drawn to white guys wearing sportive sun glasses skiing or surfing. My face blushed and my body reacted to it. I kind of sensed that something had gone wrong with my body. (Joe, 35) I saw a straight porn movie accidentally when I was about 12, noticing how huge the tool that a White guy can be. Strangely, I was so eager to see his tool, facial expression and particularly the ejaculation, which you don't usually see on straight porn. I ransacked my dad's closet examining his collection, but couldn't find my type; I was sexually frustrated. (Bob, 27) However, most informants below the age of 30 recalled that they first saw "him" on the Internet, and he was engaging in sex with another male. I first saw white male's nude on the Internet. When I did keyword search, thousands of pictures popped up. To be honest, I am not a big fan of white male nude picture, compared to the Japanese counterparts. They are usually hairy and sexual...just like an animal. To me, it is a regressive and uncivilized type of human being that I don't know how to relate to. (Tom, 19) I was like 15 and I started watching straight pornography. I told myself after viewing it: I want to be a white guy in my next life and screw everyone. WOW, the Bai-Kwei,[12]was so buff, with a hard, huge, and durable tool and their sex partners must have multiple orgasms. In retrospect, I became self-loathing because I found I could never live up to the manhood that women or gay men aspire. (Dan, 22) White male as emancipators This research acknowledges that remembrance of things past is a reconstruction of real events based on a person's needs at the time her/his story is unfolding (Nardi, Sanders & Marmor 1994; Kama, 2003). During the interviews, my responsibility is to help my informants retrieve their memories with regard to ways in which media uses helped them become who they are today. Many of my informants went into significant detail with respect to frustration or satisfaction surrounding their sexual experiences, even though we had not known each other prior to the interviews. Based on the interview, I found a sharp discrepancy between gay people in their 20s and those in their 30s in terms of relating white males to their sexual identity. The gay informants more than 30 years old tend to associate white males with progressively liberated sexuality to which Asian males "ambivalently" aspire. Samples of answers include: I am a frequent moviegoer; I watch a great number of western movies. A movie I saw in college years, Maurice, has had impacted me tremendously. I had have equated male homosexuality with a lack of masculinity until seeing the movie in which all main male characters are "normal" and homosexual. I was much thrilled and rewarded. Unlike those covered by the Taiwanese media such as old gay people molest boys or transvestites haunting the New Park. Gay white males in Maurice are extraordinary: handsome, noble, cultural, and intellectual. (Jack, 33) I grew up in a rather conservative family. Both my parents are high school teachers and extremely disciplinary. I went through a suppressive upbringing in which any curiosities about sex were deemed distracting to my academic pursuits or, worse, filthy and perverted. The gay porno would definitely fall in the latter "worse" category. God knows it is the Internet along with gay porno that helps me explore the unknown aspect of my sexual identity. I was very envious of white guys living in a society where having sex anywhere, anytime, with any possible subject seems to be all right. (Will, 35) The discursive positions of being gay and being Chinese are constantly negotiated with underlying and conflicting ideologies. On the one hand, white males are dehumanized to support Taiwanese gay men's racial "self-esteem" – for instance, white males are "uncivilized haunting ghosts"; they tend to be promiscuous, irresponsible or indifferent to family obligation and in some cases, AIDS carriers. In addition, white society has a high criminal rate and lower moral standards, at least according to this line of thought. On the other hand, it is being "uncivilized haunting ghosts" that makes white males animal-like, therefore, liberalized as well as sexualized. These arguments are frequently intertwined, responding to one another ambivalently. Unlike us, Bai-Kwei (white ghosts) are better equipped. They can have sex everywhere…but they can easily get old and out of shape. It is very miserable to be old and gay in white society. After the age of 30, they start haunting on street… I think generally speaking being gay is the white's privilege not granted to other races. After seeing Long Time Companion, Philadelphia, I cried not because of the supportive relationships, but of a society that give such relationship a name and allows them to thrive. It is sad that gay son is still a curse to a family; a son living with HIV positive would be disowned…Luckily…AIDS does not affect our society as much. (Johnny, 40) The Internet as an emancipator Older informants tend to read media texts in terms of race, a tendency epitomized by white's privileges mentioned by Johnny. However, the junior group does not necessarily perpetuate. For instance, to Johnny, "whites are particularly hot." However, Johnny's subversive reading, following race-highlighted thinking, is that white males are inhumanly sexual associated with "sexual disease" or "impotence" that do not as prevailing in Chinese community to justify the cognitive dissonance. Ironically, the being animal-like and sexual is also a commonly mentioned trait to interpret the sexual desirability of white males. Sexual desirability of the white, along with such a discourse, was not necessarily perpetuated in the junior group. Having grown up during the Internet age, the informants under the age of 25 speak out very differently. The rise of new technologies has facilitated a more free arena where sexual and racial identity become more fluid. Most of the younger Taiwanese indicate that their motivation going online is instrumental: to see if their counterparts can be their companions or potential sex partners. Sexual availability has become the more crucial factor, as a result, and the sexual desirability for white males per se is discounted I did yearn for having sex with white guys in the pornography. Yet, this type of guy in the gay pornography does not exist in Taipei. Most white guys you can see here are ugly and old. (Tim, 24) I am a person who does not masturbate; I need real sex. I meet people online or in cruising areas. I simply cannot find white people (Honda, 26). I can alienate myself seeing white people as sexual and hot. But I don't know how to put them in my sexual scenarios, thinking of having sex with them. I am little bit small; they are generally big. I can't even imagine how it would be if they want to screw me; and I guess they don't find me attractive; either. (Brian, 19) As indicated above, the younger informants growing up during the Internet age interpret the "white body" more pragmatically. They seek something that they can relate to better so they could practice such scenarios in their real lives. Given this, white males are neither romanticized nor the object that younger Taiwanese prefer. Desirability of white males, complicated by the global and new competing local actors, has decreased, and the younger informants tend first to examine local texts in search of erotic pleasures available in their real lives. Conclusion In this study, most of the audio/visual/textual texts featuring white males were produced in the United States. Presumably, they were initially produced by whites for their own enjoyments. However, these texts were imported, legally or illegally, to serve the erotic pleasures of an unintended target – Chinese. Examining the cyberspace, researcher finds several texts manifesting the notion of Orientalism: for instance, Chinese looking men (non-western) were "marginalized" as biologically inferior; culturally backward, and sexually dominated in relations to the whites. However, this study posits that it is too premature to presume, based on the discourses of post-colonialism, that Taiwanese people have internalized the "dominated-dominating" power order and submissively taken the pleasures from these texts. Topfing is owned and operated by Taiwanese gay people to serve the best interests of Chinese gay people. The study found that Topfong's members have employed various methods, ranging from role-playing, to teasing, to masquerading, to prostituting and to reciprocating, to define and refine their sexual identity. Members'readings of nude white males in pornographic texts are contraditory and multifaceted. Among the old members group, the readings of white male are especially ambivalent. Racial discourses remains dominant ideology employed to interpret sexual pleasure, despite some resistance to associating sexually desirability with white male masculinity. The subversive readings of white male sexual desirability are evident. Younger members group growing up during the Internet age, tend to de-emphasize racial meaning and instead appreciate localized texts. 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